Well, not really. We don't fight often and this morning was a discussion about politics and stuff and it just got a little heated. It's really in good fun and we don't take these things too seriously - although I'm not sure it's a good idea for us to do this in front of the kids (raising our voices and such). Anyway, here's what we talked about...
Abortion: We both basically agree that it is "bad", but that it shouldn't be criminalized. So the discussion was more about two other aspects. First, the concept of "keep your hands off my body". I have to believe this has just been ingrained in women's brains that it is somehow an issue of what "the GOV'T" is doing with their bodies. To me, anyway, it is not. It is not about a woman's body so much as the fact that there is another life inside of your body, one that will exist on its own unless you physically kill it first. We are not talking about a bodily organ here. You could argue that the fetus is not viable on its own until 20+ weeks, but that doesn't really make it any less of an entity. Second, the solution. My wife, who engaged in pre-marital sex at a fairly young age (oh, if only I had been as lucky), believes that "someone" (i.e. the gov't) should make birth control readily available ("condom machines in every high school bathroom"). We both agree that it is the parents' responsibility to address the issue of sex with our kids and it is basically up to us to help make sure that our kids do not create life before adulthood. But we also both recognize that many parents, rich and poor, avoid this responsibility. So, we don't disagree that birth control PRIOR to getting pregnant is part of the answer (neither of us thinks that abstinence is much of an answer), but my wife's off the cuff remark sparked "bitter" debate. I don't like the idea of condoms in the bathroom 'cuz frankly I believe it does endorse and encourage sex. My wife disagrees and thinks that while it might encourage a very little more, it is also more likely to significantly reduce unwanted pregnancies. The debate rages on, but I don't think I like the idea of the gov't "endorsing" sex any more than I think they should push religion. The schools ARE NOT a replacement for bad parenting.
Pre-marital Sex: well, I guess you'd have to call us both a little liberal on this topic (ewww). We both pretty much think guilt free sex is down right a good thing. So, the issue came as it relates to our kids, what age should it really start and what about the number of partners, etc. My wife started in her mid-teens while I was in my later teens - although I joke to her that I would have had sex when I was 12 (or perhaps even younger) if there were any willing partners (i.e. someone that instigated it as I was way too shy, but plenty horny). We didn't get to any conclusions, but we had some laughs discussing it. Basically, neither one of us believes that there's any reason not to have sex in your teens so long as you are responsible in terms of birth control, safe sex and knowing your partner. Sure, there are some risks and pitfalls, but there is no denying the urges and hormonal imperatives. Could we restrain ourselves? Barely and at great personal stress and discomfort. It's down right distracting at that age when not having sex 'cuz it sure is on your mind ALL the time. We're not saying we would encourage our children to start having sex as early as possible, but what we do agree on is that we need to prepare our children even now (9 and 8 years old) for what sex is all about. It is already all over the media. Children are discussing it at school. Heck, my son was telling me about how his friend wants to kiss a specific girl in their class. I recall having crushes on girls in 2nd and 3rd grade. No, their not ready for sex, but I would rather them understand it from my mature and informed perspective than leaving them to learn from TV, Hollywood and other kids.
So, then I asked her why she and I can't just have sex with other partners and suddenly serious face came back. "We've made a commitment to each other." I acknowledge that, but let's just say that we "freed" each other up to have sex with other partners - would that be okay? Her response was that it is B.S. to think that women didn't have those urges too, but I didn't get the impression that she would consider the invitation to an "open" marriage. Frankly, while it sounds appealing on the surface, I'm not so sure it's a good idea for me either. In small part, I think the reason she wouldn't be for it is because of the thought of the possibility of me finding someone "better" (at least in terms of sex). I have to admit, that's exactly what I'd be afraid of. We are, as adults, a bit possessive of our mates. While we might think that our own transgressions could be justified, most of us would be crushed if our spouse was out there having awesome sex with someone else (and leaving us out??).
Then I had to go to work, albeit a bit turned on and counting the minutes until the kids go to bed. 
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